Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Bye-Bye, Baby

I didn't plan to release you until you were eighteen. 

But you had other plans.

I perceived your departure when I awoke early that morning. 
I feared it as I frolicked with your blue-eyed brother in the green green grass. 
I dreaded it as we gingerly mixed the batter for delicate banana muffins. 

I comprehended it when the virile fire blazed in my womb.

My body discharged you and I was not ready. In the still hours of the early morning, I dreamed of  meeting you. I fancied you would have green eyes like your daddy. 

My nose burned to breathe in your delicate scent. 

If only I could have a moment to listen to your lusty new-baby voice, or to nuzzle your tiny butterfly lips to my milk-laden breast! But God knows that then I would hold onto you forever.

I guess you couldn't linger in my womb when Jesus was singing your name, summoning you home.

Someday I will meet you. 

My eyes will soak in your wee body, knit together by God's gentle hands as you soared to heaven on that cool February day.

I love you, sweetheart. Remember that as you giggle in Jesus' arms.

1 comment:

  1. carissa, these are such a deep felt, honest, loving and tender thoughts. thank you for sharing them with us. we love you guys.